Dear Birth Control,

I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes.
I have officially decided that I absolutely hate these little itty bitty white pills. Not only do I have to swallow them EVERY day, they make me CRAAAAZY! One moment I'm feeling anxiety like I'm about to jump off a cliff, the next I'm feeling depression like I'm a penniless college freshman about to take finals, transfer schools, move, then get married, then the next moment I feel totally fine. Other times I feel like I'm bouncing off the walls with happiness (these times aren't so bad, I kinda wish I had more of these, but sadly, these are the less-frequent episodes,) and still other times I feel like I just want to punch those cinder block walls. I can't figure myself out! And the worst part of it all is that through all this feeling as though the battle of Gog and Magog is waging inside of me, I can still see the rational side and tell myself, "Get a grip, Katie, its just hormones..." BUT IT DOESN'T HELP! Because that just makes me mad. You know what's funny? The doctor told me these were the lightest possible pills she could give me that would still work. Meaning, if I don't take these, I've got nowhere to go. So my rational side tells me, "Deal with it, Katie, get used to disappointment," and then I get mad at my rational side. Its hopeless.